The Secrets of a College Money Manager

In The Counting House, Gary Sernovitz’s third novel, the chief investment officer at a midsize college endowment ticks off some of his time-tested hacks for judging the hedge fund, private equity and venture managers who come through his offices pitching their talent. Impressive golf scores? Pass. French cuffs? Pass. Primary home in Florida? Hard pass. And then there’s the cellphone lock screen. “If it’s a picture of the manager, alone, finishing the San Diego Marathon or reeling in a tarpon, and if I find out that that guy has your standard hedge fund four-pack of children … life is too short,” the unnamed CIO says.

It’s a bit of an inside joke for Sernovitz, who’s spent the past two decades running investor relations at Lime Rock Partners, a smallish private equity firm. That and a previous stint at Goldman Sachs means he’s well versed in the characters who populate Wall Street—the eggheads, the narcissists and the hard-charging, profane investment bankers. “I joke I’m like the stableboy in the world of finance, writing about the jockeys,” he says in an interview.